- to have more clothes, preferably designer
- pure indulgence in Europe
- to dine at Michelin star rated restaurants
- a house, one in a wanky suburb that borders the river
I want:
- more basic clothes that I am comfortable in
- to travel to base camp of Everest, to do volunteer work in underprivileged countries
- to buy Mum a tv, to send Mum and Dad on a trip to New Zealand
- I want to cook good wholesome food with organic ingredients
- a house, on a large block in the hills
Ever since I was young I have believed that I am a caring person. I swore that I would also try to help others whichever way I could, whether it be my friends, my family, strangers. 40 hour famines here and there, volunteer work here and there. I did this with limited time and limited money.
Now that I am finally earning money fulltime, I am afraid that I have lost sight of my childhood aspirations. When I lived in Perth, some of the people who I associated with valued material things too much. They talked about what clothes they wore, how much their car was, had a list of the suburbs that they wanted to live in. When I first moved to the city, I never fitted in with these people. I was a country girl from a country family. "Simple and cheap" was how my family taught me to live my life. The majority of those in my course were part of the "elite Western suburbs" world and thanks to my dynamic personality, I changed to fit in with them. Not completely of course, but enough to talk about designer labels, Michelin star rated restaurants, infinity pools next to gorgeous houses in acceptable suburbs. This world fascinated me and soon enough I was starting to want all of those things too. But then, the luxurious lifestyle these elite pursue started to lose its lustre. Once the glittering facade faded away, I saw through all their conversations for what they really said:
"I prefer to spend my money on restaurants that the rich can only afford to go to."
"The only interest I have in clothes is whether or not they are expensive, so that people can see that I can afford them."
"I am in debt but I have a ridiculously expensive car because it makes me look good when I drive it"
"I really don't like my neighbours but at least I can say that I live in the Western suburbs!"
"My partner and I aren't that interested in each other, but he has money! And he's got a successful career. Why spend time with him when I can spend his money?"
I was horrified. Was this the person I was becoming? Would I too only dine at top rated restaurants, drink wine that I didn't like, refuse to shop at any store less than designer, drive a car that put me in enormous debt, live in a suburb that judged me as soon as I walked out on the street, marry someone who was successful, handsome and rich but didn't make me laugh and probably had someone else on the side?
A conversation with a friend encouraged me to take a good hard look at myself and the sort of person I was becoming.
"When I move back to Perth I can't wait to buy a house"
"Where?"
"Hmmm a unit in an inner city suburb? I'd love to buy a big block in the hills though"
"Really? I saw you as more of a City Beach girl"
"Is that how you see me?"
I escaped. I remembered what my parents had taught me and I yearned to get away from the city snobs. I moved back to the country. Here I am surrounded by people who will look at you if you are dressed in more than shorts and tshirt, who announce their form of elitism through drinking, camping or fishing stories, who have no idea what Tiffany's is, or what degustation means. They are happy. I am not trying to paint an idealised picture of a quiet life in the country. Of course there are those in my town who earn MORE money than those in the city and who like to indulge every now and then. I think that is the perfect balance. I am ever striving for a good balance of the "city me" vs "country me". The main thing is that I should do/say/buy whatever makes ME happy, not what others perceive as happiness.
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